From time to time we all need some concrete reassurance that our society hasn't reached the ultimate low, and thankfully there is always an utter chump somewhere in the world who is able to limbo under the bar of common sense with room to spare.

In this case, the chump in question is Tennessee native named Terri Carlin, and we should all take a moment to thank her for finding a new low to which we can all sink. Carlin has filed a proposed class action lawsuit in a U.S. District Court, alleging that Janet Jackson's bared boob in the Superbowl Halftime Show caused her and "millions of others" to "suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury."

SERIOUS INJURY?! What, were they juggling flaming torches while watching the halftime show, and the boobie distracted them long enough to miss a catch and start the house on fire? Did her eyes pop out of their sockets to dangle grotesquely onto her chest? Did she gasp so sharply that oxygen actually managed to reach her brain, making her abruptly aware of her own idiocy for the first time?

What I especially like is how inclusive the stupid tend to be; after all, she's not just out to protect her own curtains from mis-juggled torches, she's standing up for millions of idiots around the country. The stupid always seem to want to include the rest of us in their lawsuits, by asserting that they aren't unique in their inability to drink coffee or watch television without suffering serious injury. That's so sweet of them.

So hats off to Mrs. Carlin, for making my day a little brighter with this new-found evidence that I am clearly not the most desperately bored person on the face of the Earth.