I've been given what has to be the best proof of God ever.

ARGUMENT FROM RAPIST WITH NUCLEAR STRAP-ON (ED'S ARGUMENT)

1) Being indirectly responsible for something is very different from directly responsible for something, especially if it is allowed in order for a greater good to occur. A better analogy would be a rapist with an activated nuclear weapon strapped to him in a large city. He starts raping a woman but if you try to stop him millions could die, so you have to allow him to do it until a better way of getting rid of him can be discovered.
2) Thus, the existence of evil does not preclude the existence of God.
3) Therefore, God exists.

Brilliance. It really, really is. And now, off to church...