Aerosaucer caught an absolutely brilliant bit of prognostication by the ever-delightful Onion...

From The Onion, February 2004, Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades:

You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a shit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game. Are they the best a man can get? Fuck, no. Gillette is the best a man can get.

What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fucking razor that ever existed.

From CNN, September 2005: Gillette unveils 5-bladed razor:

The razor, known as the Fusion, has blades spaced 30 percent closer than Gillette's current MACH3Turbo system. It also has a single blade on the back of the cartridge for shaving sideburns or trimming under the nose.

The Onion, 2004:

Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fucker, too.

CNN, 2005:

Gillette has escalated the razor wars yet again, unveiling a new line of razors on Wednesday with...a lubricating strip on both the front and back.

Anybody willing to go for six blades? Do I hear six? Seven, with three moisturizing strips? How about seven blades, with the strips, with a military-grade pulse lazer, and a tiny robotic old man who whips out a tiny straight razor and polishes off the spots you missed?

Come on, you fucking cowards, let's see who's got the stones to go for EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING RAZOR BLADES!!! By the year 2025, we'll be cranking out razors that have an individual blade for every stump of stubble on a man's face.