Too funny.

ANNOUNCER: In a surprise move expected to send shock waves through the world of TV journalism, CNN, the original cable news network, and NBC, which owns cable channels MSNBC and CNBC, announced a deal to consolidate their news divisions into a single giant network. The new network, to be called Where the White Women At or WWWA, is set to debut this week. CNN spokesman Jack Little explained the deal at a press conference Monday.

JACK LITTLE: For most of history, journalists could afford to spend their time covering wars, famines, politics and business. The reason for this is that everyone knew where the white women were at - at home, probably in the kitchen, minding the kids. Sometimes they were out shopping or knitting at a friend's house or, or even working as elementary school teachers, but by and large, the location of all white women was known. However, society has changed, and the business of journalism has changed with it. These days, with the increased opportunities available to white women, as a nation we are losing track. White women are disappearing in Aruba, from their jobs as Washington interns and even right before their own weddings. With this merger, we will increase the breadth and depth of our missing white women coverage, and so we meet our sacred obligation to keep the electorate informed and aware about where the white women are at.

This morning on my way to school I saw a car called "Evolution." It was a very Asian-looking car. Fairly compact yellow sportscar. And I thought, what would "Creationism", the car, look like?

I'm thinking a tank with a DVD player, and Attorney Ashcroft as the car's voice. "And Jesus spake: The door is ajar. And Jesus spake: The door is ajar."

UPDATE: J Price made an excellent point in the comments section, one which was so quickly buried that I'm guessing most people would miss it, and I just have to call attention to it..."Clearly the fossil record was planted by Satan, so it requires that the saved stop using fossil fuels at once. Hmmm, why has no one ever brought up the ideological contradiction among people who don't belive in evolution, but fuel their car with decomposed extinct plant and animal life?"

Support Operation Yellow Elephant. I sure as hell do.

As someone who does not understand the appeal of romantic comedies, roses, or maudlin accoustic guitar music, this research validates my impression of the love-struck as utterly insane and irrational creatures.

According to analysis of images presented in The Journal of Neurophysiology, brain activity recorded during romantic infatuation suggests that feelings of love are biologically very similar to our desire for food and water, and can be just as powerful. There are also remarkable similarities between the neurological circuits of love and the circuits involved in drug addiction; in particular, both drug addiction and love involve areas of the brain heavily populated by cells that respond to the neurotransmitter dopamine. Being dumped might be described as "going cold turkey," as it can lead to withdrawal and cravings for the love-stimulus that will sometimes lead to rebound relationships and flings.

Oh, and in totally and completely unrelated news, the reason I was gone for so long was that I attended the wedding of my good friends, Jenn and Josh! Who, I am certain, are now experiencing the neurologically distinct form of non-infatuative love, in which their passion centers are less outrageously activated and the areas associated with long-term pair bond have taken over.