Okay, kids, I feel like making history today.  For the first time EVER, we are going to assume that God's existence has been established to our satisfaction.  That's right, we're going to all play Let's Pretend for a while, and assume we are believers.  Hang in there, this is all in the name of enlightenment...(I know, I know, that's what the priests tell you, just bear with me for a minute)...

Now, believe it or not, we've only just finished the easy part.  Having twisted our minds to accept the existence of and all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good Creator of the Universe, we now need to figure out the real logical dilemma for the day: why we would PRAY to our God.  If you start to think about this for a little, you will begin to see yet another layer of confusion in organized religion. 

According to the God Squad, there are four basic types of prayers (or "P-mail") that we humans send up: Thanks, Gimme, Oops, and Wow.  Thanks are saying cheers to God for an already-received blessing, Gimmes ask for some new blessing, Oops express regret and penitence for a sin or mistake of some kind, and Wow is general awe at how groovy a chap God is. 

The way I see it, the only way any of these prayers can make less sense than they do without God is if one DOES believe in God.  After all, if God has "a plan," or if God is all-knowing, then everything that is going to happen is already known to him.  He's already decided what he will do, so "Gimmes" are pointless because he will just ignore them if they don't correspond to his plan; indeed, if he DID grant one that went against his original idea then he would be logically disproving his own all-knowingness. Thanks are likewise irrelevant, because he didn't do anything other than what he was planning on all along, and so he wasn't doing it for you anyway.  Oops don't matter because he knew that you were going to mess up and already decided whether or not he was going to forgive you, and anyhow his all-knowingness already is aware of how sorry you are (or are not). Wow is the only one that might have merit, but since he already knows how impressed you are (by definition of omniscience) then why bother to pray it to him? He's aware of how cool he is, and, being all-powerful, doesn't need validation from one of his creations.

So look at that.  We went to all the trouble of assuming God exists, and we still have no reason to pray to him.   I guess all those people who want prayer in schools must have been bowing their heads and muttering to their imaginary friend while their class learned basic logical reasoning.