Pure genius from Aerosaucer:

I appreciate prodigious posteriors
And I am incapable of obfuscation
Those of you with whom I feel a fraternal bond cannot abnegate
That when a female homosapien ambulates in with a microscopic midsection and a globular object in your visage
You experience a restriction of venous flow by hydraulic pressure in your genital region.

You yearn to approach enthusiastically
Because you have ascertained that the hindquarters in question is brimming
Abysmally in the dungarees in which the feminine entity is attired
I am engrossed and am impotent to bring my own scrutinization to a conclusion
Oh, one for whom I feel affection, I desire to engage in intimate relations with you
And record your appearance in a photographic medium

My companions made an attempt to remonstrate me
But that derriere you possess compels me to become drastically amorous

Oh, glutial area of unvarying surface uniformity
You express a desire to gain ingress to my fine and expensive German-engineered motorized vehicle?
Well exploit me, exploit me,
Because you lack the qualities of the unexceptional enthusiast

I have beheld them promenading
And I would like to send courtshipment to the Inferno of Judeo-Christian tradition
She embodies the abstract concepts of perspiration and saturation
She is propelled much like an owner-improved American-made high-performance ground-based conveyance

I am exasperated by monthly print publications
Declaring that complanate haunches are desirable and prevalent
Acquire the quotidian human male with a high concentration of dermal melanin and query him on the subject
He will inform you that it is imperative that an inamorata possess abundant fundament.

So those of masculine gender
(Affirmative!)
Those of masculine gender
(Affirmative!)
Does you paramour boast a voluminous torsal extremity?
(I swear so on the name of the theological realm of eternal torment!!)
Well brandish it, brandish it, brandish it, brandish it, brandish that robust rear end!

The object of my ardor maintains generous buttocks.