This just in: God punishes Florida.

We don't know exactly why, but according to Christianity.com, God is the mastermind in control of the hurricane that left death and destruction in its wake across Florida. Hurricane Charley already smacked around the godless communists in Cuba, though the 102 mph winds were not able to actually kill any of said heretics. It was, apparently, able to kill some Americans, since "significant loss of life" is reported from Punta Gorda, Florida.

Christianity.com's TheARtLady assures us that God is responsible for keeping the hurricane from her relatives in South Carolina, and that He is to be thanked for keeping the devastation to a minimum in Florida. Those survivors who wish to rebuild the homes God smashed will be helped and sustained by God, thanks, in part, to TheARtLady's prayers, which also convinced God to change His plan and spare a few people He had been planning to kill. Additionally, God plans to comfort those people whose lives He attacked just yesterday, driving me to wonder how any Christian can give John Kerry crap for being a flip-flopper.

Words fail, at this point.