For any of you guys out there who are still heterosexual, here's a little something to change your mind. Men's Health has a list of "Secrets Every Woman Keeps From Her Man." And when they say Every Woman, they mean it...even lesbians, single women, and widows. See, according to Men's Health, Every Woman always has a man around whom her life can revolve, and has no feelings, ideas, secrets, goals, or desires that do not in some way involve said man. Also, Every Woman is a lying, spineless, brainless 12 year old.

But, of course, Every Man has no standards or self respect, and will gladly allow the stupid and childish Every Woman to lie, whine, cheat, and manipulate, so long as Every Man can get his cock sloppy from time to time. I guess Men's Health is really an equality-minded publication, since they make an effort to degrade both men and women in equal measure.