This just in: Little Boy Disproves Existence of Loving God

TEXAS CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, Texas -- When little Cody Johnson was diagnosed with bone cancer at the age of 6, he said, "I want the worst kind of cancer there is so that when God heals me, everybody will know it was God who did it." On September 10th of this year, Cody died.

His parents' constant prayers that Cody be allowed to grow up and take "the Christian wife he and his mother had prayed for" were denied by the Almighty, who prefered to kill Cody slowly and painfully. But never you fear, because his agnonizing death is being touted as his "triumph over cancer" by the congregation of his own Spring Baptist Church. (How you can manage to see an agnonizing death as a triumph is beyond me, but we must keep in mind that these are the people who believe the ultimate demonstration of love was when their diety watched its own child tortured to death.)

Though their years of prayers did nothing to alter the initial prognosis from his doctors, the Spring Baptist Church wasted no time in exploiting his death for their own gain. Tales of Cody's "miracles" over the course of his illness were widely circulated as proof of Jesus' powers, such as a case where the little boy awoke in the night screaming with pain and could only be calmed by prayer. Of course, that prayer was performed after the administration of two doses of pain medication, but his family is quite sure that it was the prayer that did it.

At Cody's funeral, Pastor Mark Estep used the little boy's death as an opportunity recruit new members; after informing the assembled audience that Cody liked Jesus and was now in heaven, he invited anybody who had not asked Jesus to come into their life to do so because their submission to Jesus "would have been what Cody wanted."

Praise Jesus. Can I get a Hallelujah?