Under no circumstances

2008-12-14T11:18:00.000-08:00

Ahh, the holiday season, with its wholesome traditional joys. Such as...

-Catching snowflakes on your tongue until your tongue stud starts to freeze
-Decorating pornographic Xmas cookies with your mom
-Debating whether or not eggnog could conceivably be made using any of your father's expensive tequilas
-Finding a present under the tree which has lost its name tag, opening it to find Fables Vol 6, and having to fight your Dad, brother, and boyfriend for ownership.
-The Grinch Who Stole Christmas drinking game

2008-05-26T15:55:00.000-07:00

Himself's sister and her husband came to visit us this weekend, and much fun was had by all. Highlights include:

-Participated in the "interactive experience" at the Spy Museum, during which we all acquired spy names. Himself is Coffee Mug, his sister is Knife, her husband is Cane, and I am Foosball.
-Sloth bears at the National Zoo. They're large. They're sloth bears. Fear them.
-Indiana Jones 4 is 2.5 hours of shark-jumping entertainment.
-The Brewers beat the Nationals on Memorial Day, proving that Milwaukee is a city of freedom-hating Communists.

Also, everywhere in DC has great food. You should visit.

2008-05-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

It amazes me how often XKCD puts out comics about me and Himself, despite never having met us.

2008-05-20T09:53:00.001-07:00

I got the game Rocket Slime for my DS and it's totally addictive. Horrible puns, hundreds of sentient slimes, and giant tank battles...what's not to love?

2008-05-18T13:58:00.000-07:00

* 1/2 cup margarine
* 2/3 cup flour
* 2 teaspoons mixed spice (something with dry mustard, paprika, and cayenne if you can find it)
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1.3 cup chicken broth
* 4 cups milk
* 1 (12 ounce) beer
* 2 cups finely shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
* 1 cup finely shredded mild Cheddar cheese

Melt the margarine. Stir in flour and spices/salt. Add in broth, milk, and beer. Bring to a boil. Boil for 1 min. Gradually stir in cheese, heating until completely melted.

Beer cheese soup, bitchez. Put popcorn on top.

2008-05-15T10:56:00.000-07:00

California lifts gay marriage ban.

I know it's not the end of the matter, and it will still be a while before gay citizens in California are afforded equal rights, but every little step helps. So yay!

2008-04-29T07:22:00.001-07:00

Belated updates:

-Grant got renewed for another year. Yay.
-Thesis committee didn't eat me. Yay.
-I'm sick AGAIN. Boo.
-Paper has not yet been submitted. Sigh.
-Discovered I both like to eat and am able to cook cous cous. Yay.

2008-03-31T23:21:00.000-07:00

It turns out the Martian Death Flu was actually a combination of strep and some other respiratory infection. Antibiotics have been prescribed, along with something called "TussionX," which appears to be Robitussin Xtreme. We are already much improved.

2008-03-28T05:23:00.000-07:00

The Martian Death Flu is in our household. Don't visit.

2008-03-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

Apologies for having dropped off the face of the Earth somewhat. I will be presenting a seminar on my on-going research on April 9th, then meeting with my thesis committee on the 10th, and also trying to submit my first paper as a first author within this time frame. In other words, I'm stressing and unpleasant and you probably wouldn't want to talk with me anyhow.

2008-02-28T09:42:00.000-08:00

Cracked.com presents: The 40 Most Inappropriate Children's Book Covers.

While some of them are kind of lame (okay, anal sex is funny, we get it), there's also some pretty funny ones.

I'm partial to "The Invisible Child-Eating Crocodiles That Live Absolutely Everywhere," and "You Can't Be An Astronaut! (It's just not realistic!)," but I think my favorite is this one:

2008-02-14T10:59:00.000-08:00

2008-02-01T04:55:00.001-08:00

Random question: Can you name a female cartoon cereal mascot?

2008-01-28T17:37:00.001-08:00

Today we're going to play Make Your Own Album Cover.

Here's how the game works:

Your band name is whatever you get when you click this link.

The name of your album is the last four words of the last quote on this page.

The cover photo for your album is the third picture (the upper right hand one) when you click this link.

My album:

2008-01-14T08:53:00.000-08:00

This giant octopus at the Blue Reef Aquarium in Newquay, Cornwall, got a Mr. Potatohead toy for Christmas. He likes it so much that he'll attack the net that the staff use to try to fish the toy out.

The best part, however, is that this giant octopus didn't get any old Mr. Potatohead. He got Optimash Prime...which Boyfriend also received this Christmas.

My boyfriend's taste is on par with that of a giant octopus. Life is good.

2007-12-20T05:27:00.000-08:00

Will be in Park from Dec 22 to Dec 28, thence to Boston until Jan 2.

2007-12-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

Want.

2007-11-30T03:54:00.003-08:00

Hah!

2007-11-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

The NY Times recently ran a piece about the writer's strike. Joss Whedon responded.

I'll bet you can guess how awesome this is about to become.

I want to make him a stamp that reads, "You have just been handed your ass by Whedon, King of all the Lands." He can use it to sign letters and such. I think he'll get a lot of use out of it.

2007-11-13T19:20:00.000-08:00

Let's say you're a monarch of some sort. Perhaps, oh I don't know, a Princess. You've got servants, staff, massive palace, the works.

Let's also say there's this giant monster dude who has kidnapped you upwards of a dozen times in the past. He's conspicuously evil, from his spiked shell to his sinister chuckle, and he has a serious hard-on for locking you up in his evil monster castle.

Do you:

A) Use your royal treasury to train a Toad-people Secret Service with the weaponry and expertise to thwart any Koopa-related threat to your reign,

or

B) Continue to rely exclusively upon the security services of a single Italian plumber who will end up dicking around collecting magical stars for a zillion levels before he actually gets around to liberating you from Evil Monster Castle #2524.

It's a good thing Mario Galaxy is so mindblowingly awesome, otherwise these little plot issues would annoy me.

2007-10-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-18T03:19:00.000-07:00

Buy Portal. Right now. Wicked fun.

2007-10-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

Went to the 9:30 Club last night to see a Bad Religion show.

The first opening band was five British punks who had the skinniest legs I have ever seen in my life. They did lots of leaping on stage and looked like shrieking gazelles. Passably punkrock.

They were followed up by a band called The Briggs. The Briggs is trying very hard, and they play like they've been taking lessons for quite a while, but their stage presence is stiff and their music is limp.

Bad Religion was awesome. As usual. Because they can't help it. And that's about all I can say about it.

Other items of note:

-$3 for a cup of soda?!? This is why clubbing is a pile of shite.

-Creepy 60 year-old-men do not get to lean against me at rock shows. Yes, sir, I know that I have a very good spot, and I know you really wish you'd gotten here early enough to get it, but that doesn't mean you get to spend the show crawling up my butt trying to see past me. If you want to get physical go get in the pit.

-In any given pit there will probably be about 20 people who have absolutely no clue whatsoever about pit hospitality. This is okay, unless all 20 of them are standing together, creating a sort of sink hole for any crowd surfers unlucky enough to get passed that way. If you are going to be in the pit then please be prepared to give your fellow man a little butt support.

2007-10-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

-www.nataliedee.com

2007-10-02T10:59:00.001-07:00

It's time for another Good Idea/Bad Idea!

Good idea: Sipping your morning coffee while looking over yesterday's data.

Bad idea: Spilling your morning coffee while looking over yesterday's data.

Gonna be a looooooooooong week.

2007-09-10T04:44:00.000-07:00

Things I Ate On My Vacation:

-Onion blossom
-Fried pickle
-Fudge puppy (chocolate-covered waffle on a stick)
-Beer cheese soup
-Deep-fried Milky Way on a stick
-Fried ice cream!

Things I Declined To Eat On My Vacation:

-Deep-fried Twinkie
-Sloppy Joe on a stick

2007-08-15T06:42:00.000-07:00

Bad: Deadline incoming, must spend hours preparing images. A boring and repetitive task.

Better: Soda company just so happens to be handing out free samples of their latest caffeine bomb in the lobby.

Best: Boring repetitive task buoyed by brightly-flavored uppers, now set to the tune of a rotating playlist that opens with Martha And The Vandellas and moves swiftly into the classic works of AC/DC.

2007-08-07T07:33:00.001-07:00

Those of you who follow the Journal of Neuroscience Research--and I know nearly all of you do--should keep an eye out for the upcoming publication of "Dye Coupling in Developing Vestibular Nuclei."

I'm finally a published author!

2007-07-31T05:05:00.001-07:00

Scott, on the anti-war "fringe" in America:

"If your fringed shawl is 30% shawl and 70% fringe, chances are it’s not really a fringed shawl, but a regular shawl that’s just really badly unraveling."

2007-07-27T03:48:00.000-07:00

A very special Marvel Team-Up: Spider-Man and Planned Parenthood.

And it's from the 1970s. How far we've come...?

2007-07-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

Today's Tidbit Of Funny comes via a coworker.

"Over the weekend I was having a political discussion with my sister. We covered a lot of ground, including touching on the subject of the Federal Marriage Amendment and the potential for bicameral support for it (and similar amendments).

My nephew (age 7) was in the room playing a videogame during our discussion. My sister got up to go make dinner. My nephew paused his game, looked around very carefully, and then asked me softly,

'Aunt Anna, if all those people in Congress are bicameral, why do they want to ban gay marriage?'"

Kids can be so unintentionally insightful, can't they?

2007-07-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

Start spreading the news:

I'll be visiting the family in MN--and hopefully some friends, HINT HINT--from Friday, August 31 to Saturday, September 8.

2007-07-05T04:41:00.000-07:00

In case you missed the action yesterday, Takeru Kobayashi has been defeated.

NEW YORK -- In a gut-busting showdown that combined drama, daring and indigestion, Joey Chestnut emerged Wednesday as the world's hot dog eating champion, knocking off six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi in a rousing yet repulsive triumph.I've actually been following Kobayashi's career for a number of years now. It started when I happened to catch a special on him, and they were interviewing him at this sushi bar. One of those ones with the boats that float past the tables on the little river conveyor belt deal. Kobayashi, who looked to have maybe a 24 inch waist, just kept taking plates off the boats and munching. He stacked the plates on the table as he finished each portion. At the end of the interview, he got up and stood on the table and the stack of plates came up to his chin. As they left the restaurant, he mentioned that he would probably be hungry "in a few hours," since it had been a light lunch.

Hard to imagine that fellow being taken down, though he did beat his own previous record by an amazing 9.5 hotdogs.

2007-07-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

The new Die Hard movie is 100 pounds of awesome powder in a 50 pound awesome cannon. Go see it right now.

That is all.

2007-06-19T04:43:00.001-07:00

Those of you who know me in the real world will understand why my eye was grabbed by an article entitled, Names really do make a difference.

Turns out the article is about how names direct people's expectations about an individual, and how individuals are influenced by this. Kind of interesting, though not as novel as I was hoping.

One piece I hadn't heard about before is the idea that giving your daughter a 'feminine' name will make her less likely to study math or science. So if you want a math whiz for a daughter, whatever you do don't name her Isabella or Anna, because hearing her 'feminine' name will remind her that she doesn't belong in any masculine subject areas! They even included a twin study in which the twin with the 'masculine' name was found to be more likely to study higher level math or science.

I was all happy reading this, because it seemed to support my intention to name a daughter Raptor Bonesaw in order to prepare her for a life of conquest and ruthless domination. But then I read that, according to UCLA psychology professor Albert Mehrabian, "Parents who make up bizarre names for their children are ignorant, arrogant or just foolish."

Well drat.

2007-05-31T08:54:00.000-07:00

Today I did something extremely stupid.

First, some back-story.

When I got to work this morning I found that one of the eggs in our incubator had hatched during the night. The chick's feathers were still all wet and matted, so it probably hadn't been out of its shell for more than a couple hours.

I moved it into the hatchling incubator, gave it food and water, and put a green dot on its head with a magic marker so we'd be able to tell it apart from the chicks that will be hatching tomorrow. (We do this because the age of our embryos/hatchlings is extremely important to our research.)

I continued about my business in the room, getting ready for my experiments for the day. As I did, I noticed that the chick would begin to peep loudly whenever I moved out of view. After a few experimental rounds of peek-a-boo I determined that yes, the chick became agitated whenever I "left". Imprinting? Could be. Neat.

I stood there for a few minutes until it dropped off to sleep and then left to work on my first prep of the day.

Okay, now here comes the stupid part...

I returned to the incubator room a few hours later, and as I passed the hatchling incubator the chick sat up and peeped at me. I said, "Hi, Spot."

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuck.

So now the chick is named "Spot." Goddammitall.

2007-05-25T06:32:00.001-07:00

(This morning, in the Imaging Center)

Anastas: Exploding is not recommended by the manufacturer.
Me: Wait, slow down. Let me get a pen so I can write this down.

2007-05-21T03:21:00.001-07:00

Another reason to love Joss Whedon.

2007-05-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

Meet Grimpoteuthis, the "Dumbo Squid."

That is some weapons-grade cute-onium, folks.

2007-04-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

Last night, Himself and I are laying around in our underwear watching TV. In this show, the guy and girl have broken up and the guy calls in to a radio station to request a song for his girl in the hopes of making up.

Himself remarks, "If we ever broke up, I would call in to a radio station and tell them to play that Titanic song by Celine Dion, dedicated to you. And I would tell them it's because it's your favorite song."

I reply with theatrical gagging noises.

Himself points out, "Well, see, now you have to stay with me. Or else people will think you like Celine Dion."

A pillow fight ensued.

Ahh, romance.

2007-04-12T04:13:00.000-07:00

Kurt Vonnegut
1922-2007

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”

-From Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

2007-04-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine related the following tale to me today:

My eight-year-old daughter just explained the Trinity to me.

She was talking to me about what she sees as illogical, the idea of three-gods-in-one. Apparently, so far, her church has so far taught Jesus as 'son of God'.... rather than 'god, incarnate'.

Anyway - I pointed out that the 'common' conception is that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are all 'one'... And she wanted me to explain to her how this might be possible. I admit my failing, and asked her if she could come up with an explanation for me.

This is her answer: (word-for-word, she wrote me a report)
"First, you have God laying down on a metal board with a laser next to him. He cuts off his head and arms and grows them back, then molds his arms and head into Jesus.

Jesus does the same, and takes the skin out of it and leaves the spirit. Then you have all 3 people."

The "No Mister Bond, I Expect You To Die" model of Christianity. I can dig it.

2007-03-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

"Dear Ms. [ZombieDeathKoala],

I am pleased to inform you that the NIDCD Division of Scientific Programs recommended award of your fellowship application at its meeting this week. The Institute’s Fiscal Management Branch has indicated that funds are available for this award. The NIDCD Grants Management Branch (GMB) will begin, very shortly, to process your award, based on your requested start date or the earliest possible start date for us.

[Yada yada details]

Good Luck,

Sincerely

Dr. --------
Research Training Officer
National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders"

2007-03-29T03:37:00.000-07:00

From the Department of Nauseatingly Cute:

Sleeping otters holding hands

2007-03-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

If you haven't ever read the blog Girls Read Comics (And They're Pissed), deduct 10 coolness points from your score.

Author Karen Healey is one of life's winners. Exhibit A: her most recent post about dolls, busts, and comic book playthings of all sorts. I particularly like the use of this Supergirl bust...

...as inspiration for a whole new view of Superman.

Heh-lloooo, Man of Steel!

2007-03-09T05:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was International Women's Day. As I completely missed it, I am now expected to turn in my uterus and be forever expelled from the Womyn Power Club.

I have been catching up on some of what I missed by visiting some of my favorite blogs, like Pandagon, Feministing, and Echidne of the Snakes. As expected, most of the mainstream discourse on the subject is dude-centric, since some yahoo always feels the need to ask, "When is International Men's Day?!"

I am forced to giggle as I remember back to when I was 6 years old, and I asked my mom,

"Mom, how come there is a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but there's no Children's Day?"

I had chosen my moment well. Mom was fresh off a 9-hour work day, and was picking up my toys while she kept dinner simmering on the stove. Dad was outside breaking ice off the driveway so that he wouldn't have to do it at 6:00 the next morning before work.

Mom fixed me with her eye and said, firmly, "Kid, every day is Children's Day."

Even at six, I got the point.

Sorry, dudes, but there's one downside to holding the vast majority of political, financial, and social power throughout the entire world, and that is that you aren't going to get to enjoy a completely obscure and generally ignored nominal holiday. I know, I know, this is clearly oppression and men are obviously facing a kind of discrimination that dwarfs anything women have ever had to endure. But I know you manly folks will be able to suck it up.

2007-03-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

My family cat, Hobbs, died yesterday. He was a very old fellow. In fact, he was older than Boo by a couple of years.

Hobbs' brother, Beezie, died a little while back. I can still remember the day we brought Beezie and Hobbs home from the Human Society. I held a kitten against my jean jacket as I carried it into the house, and when I tried to set him down inside the house it felt like pulling Velcro off my jacket.

The funny story about our kittens was that we thought they were girl cats when we got them. They were named Suzie B (for Susan B Anthony) and Lizzie (for Elizabeth Stanton) when we first got them. But when we took them in for a vet check up, the vet lifted up a kitten's tail and announced, "Suzie B is a boy." Then, "So's Lizzie."

So instead of naming our kittens for feminist leaders, we named them as demons. ("Hob" is an old nickname for the devil, and Beezie was short for Beelzebub.)

I don't think I'm really a cat person at heart, but I loved Beezie and Hobbs. I'm glad that they enjoyed long lives with us, and I hope we made them as happy as they made us.

2007-03-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

I have to take a moment to brag, here, because Boyfriend has landed a full-time position at NASD (where he has been temping for a bit) and is now making exactly double what I earn. While I mourn the loss of my position as Sugarmama, he has promised to buy me ponies made of diamonds and condor-egg omelettes. Huzzah!

2007-02-21T11:43:00.000-08:00

IT WORKED.

Weeks of not working and trouble-shooting and taking apart and putting back together and reading papers until my eyes bled and trying again and wanting to rip the rig apart with my bare hands and kinda doing so at one point and FINALLY IT WORKED.

(For those of you who are totally confused at this point, this is--predictably--about my thesis. I'm working on the second of my three aims, and have been running into endless technical difficulties trying to get a new method to work.)

Ok, so the results aren't entirely pretty, and there is still a ways to go in refining my technique, but DAMN. This feels so good I can't keep my finger off the capslock. YES.

2007-02-15T09:51:00.000-08:00

Via Think Progress, I have learned that:

The idea of physical coercion or torture is no longer a novelty or surprise

(Bold mine)

You want to know what keeps me up at night? The fact that the idea of physical coercion or torture is no longer a novelty or surprise. Millions of viewers are so numb to the sight of other humans being brutalized that producers can't even use torture-porn to sell shit any more.

Deeeeee-sturbing.

2007-02-01T04:51:00.000-08:00

Molly Ivins
August 30, 1944 – January 31, 2007

2007-01-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

Breaking news from a diary at Daily Kos:

According to The Huffington Post, Al Franken will announce today Monday January 29th that he will be leaving Air America Radio to pursue a run for the US Senate seat representing Minnesota!

Not that I'm complaining, but what is it about Minnesota having celebs for politicians? I mean, I understand California getting them, but what is up with my home state and the famous people?

2007-01-17T04:11:00.000-08:00

I seem to be watching a lot of movies lately. Watched Borat for the first time last night. Thought the bear was the only really funny bit.

2007-01-16T07:56:00.000-08:00

Over the long weekend, Boyfriend and I went to see Curse Of The Golden Flower. It was deeply awesome. This post is not about the movie.

Instead, this post is about what happened in the theater while the movie happened to be playing. About five minutes into the movie, a woman entered with a small child (maybe 2 or 3 years old) and sat in the seat directly in front of Boyfriend.

For those of you not familiar with Curse Of The Golden Flower, let me just say that it is not a movie that is age-appropriate for a 2-3 year old kid. There is a lot of boring talking mixed in with a decent amount of loud, scary violence.

The small child, quite reasonably, was not interested in the movie. He talked constantly. And I really mean constantly. Without let up. He struggled around as his mother tried to hold him. He talked some more. She occasionally shushed him in a loud voice.

After about five minutes of this, the mother got up and took the kid out of the theater. I assumed that she had realized her child was not going to sit quietly, and she was choosing to leave the movie. But no, in a few moments they returned, as loud as before.

Another patron got up and left the theater, returning moments later with an usher. The usher whispered to the woman with the child, and she replied (loudly) that she had paid for her ticket and nobody had any right to order her around. The usher left. Woman and child remained.

After another five to ten minutes of small child talking and fidgeting, the woman started talking on her cell phone.

I would like to point out at this point that I did NOT punch her. I think I deserve cookies for this.

Once she started talking on her cell, I leaned over and told Boyfriend that I was going to go complain to the management. Since he was closer to the isle, he opted to get up and go do it instead, while I stayed to keep an eye on our stuff. The patron who had gotten the usher earlier also got up at almost the same moment and went out of the theater with Boyfriend.

This time, the usher came in and asked the woman to come out of the theater so they could talk. The woman loudly objected (remember, the movie is still going on this entire time), but she got up and left along with her child.

We were then all treated to hearing her yelling at the usher from out in the hallway. After repeating that she had paid for her ticket, etc, she said something that completely startled me.

"Yes it is, yes it is, because you're black and they're white!!!"

It's true, the woman was black, as was the usher, and my boyfriend and the other patron who complained were both white. I had honestly not even really noticed that fact until I heard the woman yell this.

(Of course, both she and the usher were female, too, yet she didn't say, "Because you're a woman and they're men!!!")

The woman and her kid finally left the movie.

The fact that this occurred on the weekend of the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday seems significant somehow. I've never personally seen an example of somebody "playing the race card" like that before. It makes me wonder about that woman and want to meet her again, to ask her why she felt the way she did.

2006-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

World's Tallest Man Saves Dolphins

I do not have anything to add to this headline.

2006-12-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

Mom came out of surgery just fine. The surgeon says they were able to remove everything they wanted to get. Daddio promised to call me as soon as he gets a chance to see her in the recovery room, and she may even be able to talk to me some time tonight.

Aaaaand I'm able to breathe again. Phew.

I sincerely want to thank the people who have been sending good vibes to me and my family. I know it has made my mother feel great to know there are so many people wishing her well, and I have really appreciated the support and kind words that I've been getting. Next time you're at the pub with me, pass me the bill.

2006-12-05T13:06:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I learned that two more of my college friends are engaged to be married (to each other). When their big day finally rolls around, it will mean that the majority of my close school friends are married rather than single.

I have baggage about marriage, I'll be the first to admit it. Marriage, in my culture, is a tradition that stands for a lot of things I don't like, and represents a lot of values I don't hold. The role of spouse is one that has never held the least attraction for me, particularly considering the gendered expectations and stereotypes that go along with that role.

On the other hand, my parents' marriage is a terrific example of exactly the kind of relationship I hope to have. They have shown me that while marriage as an institution may mean a lot of crappy things, your own marriage is whatever you and your partner make of it. I can dig that.

But, just for the record (since a couple people have asked me recently): No, we're not. No, we probably aren't going to be any time soon. Living in sin is working out great for us so far, and I'm not about to mess with a good thing.

2006-12-01T08:17:00.000-08:00

I solved a minor crisis at work today. Nothing really noteworthy, except that ever since then I've been singing under my breath:

"When it seems they're headed for final curtain,
Bold deduction never fails, that's for certain.
The worst of messes
Become successes..."

Yeah. Grown adult, registered voter, PhD degree candidate...and I have the Duck Tails theme song stuck in my head.

2006-11-09T04:18:00.000-08:00

I may not be able to get terribly excited about a Democrat majority in Congress (since I'm not at all impressed with the Dems lately), but I am terribly excited about the removal of certain individuals from my government.

Buh bye, Allen. Buh bye, Man-On-Dog Rick. Don't let the door hit ya.

Also, YAY for Arizona, for being the first state to defeat an anti-gay marriage ban. Yay for South Dakota, for pretty clearly sending the message that the extremist anti-choice agenda ain't gonna fly. Yay for my own Minnesota, for sending the first Muslim to Congress, if only because of the wingnut heads that will explode as a result.

This is the first election I have enjoyed since I became a voter. Good stuff.

2006-10-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

So here's the news.

1. My thesis committee has approved my thesis design. Since I have completed my required class credits and have passed my qualifying exams, this means that I have now officially advanced to candidacy for the Ph.D. degree. Yow.

2. Mama DeathKoala is having surgery this winter. We found out a few years back that she has a benign meningioma. She's been having regular MRI scans to monitor it, and her recent results showed that it's growing quickly enough to warrant removal. It's about the size of a grape.

She is healthy and strong, her surgeon and his team are very good, and the procedure is about as low risk as you can get when you're talking about brain surgery. The tumor is more or less encased in its own little package, sort of like a cyst, so it will be easier to remove. It is also located in a (relatively) safe area, not burried in her language centers or anything horrid like that, so there's less chance that something important will be damaged trying to get it out.

Mama is joking about how much she enjoys milking this for sympathy and good behavior from Daddio and Boo. Daddio and Boo are offering to shave their heads to match Mama's for the surgery. I'm wigging out and being of no help whatsoever.

This is a crazy year.

2006-10-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

From the Department of Freaking Sweet:

This guy named Julian Beever does amazing sidewalk art with pastels, creating images that appear 3-D if viewed from the right angle. To really appreciate the optical illusion, you can compare works like Make Poverty History from the front and from the side.

Coolness.

2006-09-19T03:47:00.000-07:00

Hooray! I mean, er, Avast! It's Talk Like A Pirate Day!

In honor of the day, I give you:
Six Reasons Why Pirates Are Better Than Ninjas

1. Ever heard a good shanty about ninjas? I think not.
2. Three quarters of the Earth's surface is water, so pirate mayhem can cover a larger surface area.
3. Ninjas are emo.
4. Becoming a pirate does not require years of tedious study at the hands of a strict and cryptic-metaphor-crazed master.
5. Grog.
6. A ninja with a peg leg is useless. A pirate with a peg leg is captain.

2006-09-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

This one's for Daddio:

Most of you have probably seen the famous Mad Bluebird picture before. Well, meet the Mad Hummingbird.

2006-09-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

Trip home was great, if a bit exhausting. Tremendous apologies to those I did not get to connect with while I was in town, but the 10-day trip I had originally planned was cut down to 5 days due to my ever-looming thesis and the pressing travel schedule of my globe-trotting mentor. I'll be back for Thanksgiving and Xmas.

Your oddball factoid of the day is that today is the 178th birthday of General Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, one of my favorite historical figures.

Chamberlain was a professor of rhetoric at Bowdoin College who eventually taught every subject in the curriculum except for mathematics. He was fluent in nine languages other than English: Greek, Latin, Spanish, German, French, Italian, Arabic, Hebrew, and Syriac. In 1862, Chamberlain was commissioned as the Lieutenant Colonel of the 20th Maine Volunteer Infantry during the American Civil War, and he is best remembered for his military exploits.

On the second day of the Battle of Gettysburg, Chamberlain used an unlikely textbook maneuver to hold Little Round Top, and then broke the enemy lines with a bayonet charge. He was critically wounded at the Battle of Petersburg and was promoted to Brigadier General on the battlefield by General Grant. His wounds were so serious that the promotion was believed to be posthumous, and his obituary even ran in the paper the following day, but Chamberlain survived and returned to lead his troops in the final campaign of the war. He was the commander chosen to receive the formal surrender of the Confederate Army at the end of the Appomattox Campaign.

Chamberlain went on to be Governor of Maine and president of Bowdoin College, before finally succumbing to the effects of his Petersburg wound in 1914 (50 years after his doctors pronounced the injury mortal).

2006-08-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

This week, a paper published in Nature presents a potential means of harvesting embryonic stem cells without damaging the embryos. This would theoretically allow cultures of embryonic stem cells to be produced without destroying embryos.

End of stem cell debate, right?

Riiiiiight.

The knee-jerk reaction from the White House was to say,

Yes, serious ethical questions are raised by the idea of harming nothing in order to save human lives. Or something.

The White House then revised its original statement, with Press Secretary Perino telling us,

This study today

reported in Nature Magazine

has not been reviewed by scientists

and bio-ethicists yet

after they have a chance to review the study

Now, I think perhaps the non-scientists out there may not be aware of how goddam funny this statement is. A lot of laypeople might not know that Nature is a top-tier journal. You don't just get published in Nature on a whim. You don't get published in Nature by submitting work that has not been reviewed by other scientists. And you really don't get a stem cell study published in Nature without any ethics oversight.

For this paper to get published in Nature, it went through months (if not years) of peer review. A professional bioethicist consulted directly on the project. It was reviewed by the Ethics Advisory Board of Advanced Cell Technology.

Honestly, I actually laughed to hear the White House claim that a study could get published in Nature without having been reviewed by any scientists or ethicists. It was a bitter laugh, to be sure, since I am myself enduring the excruciating process of peer review with my grant application, as well as a scholarly paper in the works. If only, I sigh. If only.

2006-08-18T17:02:00.000-07:00

Upon tasting his very first 12 year old scotch (Black Label, no less), my beloved had the following to say:

"It tastes like barrels."

2006-08-08T04:11:00.000-07:00

Here's the update.

We now have almost all of our furniture (just missing some shelving). The TV is arriving Saturday. I am going to be in Park over Labor Day weekend and for some portion of the following week, though I'm not yet certain how large a portion that will be. I will be defending my thesis design before my committee at the end of September. This time I plan to start acquiring sacrificial livestock ahead of time, just in case.

On an unrelated and sad note, it appears that The Raving Atheist is increasing his raving whilst losing his godlessness for all the wrong reasons. I knew that TRA was anti-choice back when I originally added him to my blog roll on the side bar, but I've had anti-choice friends before and I figured it was a small price to pay for his dismantlings of the God Squad columns. However, over the last year he has become increasingly obsessed with the Myth of the Magic Sperm, whereby sperm confers personhood at the instant of fertilization and a complete human individual exists from that moment. Of course this myth collapses for anybody with a rudamentary understanding of human reproduction (identical twins, anyone?), but it can be propped up very nicely if one plugs in a bit of Christian doctrine...and that appears to be what TRA is working up to.

The Raving Atheist Conversion Watch has been followed by Amanda at Pandagon, PZ Myers, and Zuzu over at Feministe. It's rather interesting to see this process of conversion unfolding, because it further underscores the importance of the process of becoming and remaining godless. Rejecting one set of superstitions while clinging to another is not really going to accomplish anything.

2006-08-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

Sorry that posting has been a bit light of late. It turns out that moving is a process that extends over many weeks, and grad school is an excruciating and endless series of crises.

To tide you over, nibble on a snarky tidbit from Shakespeare's Sister (guest posting at The Rude Pundit):

2006-07-28T05:29:00.000-07:00

"Because you suck and I hate you," by Hunter.

2006-07-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

Far out, PZ Myers has linked to me! Kind of makes me wish I'd posted some solid content within the last month or so.

2006-07-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

We survived the move. Our internet works and we have cable. There is a miniature greenhouse full of carnivorous plants sitting in our refrigerator. (Because I put it there.) Today we are getting chairs. It's all good.

2006-07-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

As if there was still any debate on the subject, I have yet another bit of proof that my dad is cooler than all y'alls dads. This proof comes to us in the form of Chris's Invincible Super-blog, which Daddio has turned me on to, and which thoroughly deserves to be enshrined in the links on the right side of this page.

It is because of this glorious, life-changing blog that I will now be ending all humorous anecdotes with "...And then Godzilla got busy."

(Actual image from the classic Dark Horse comic, "Godzilla vs. Charles Barkley")

2006-06-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

Via DarkSyde:

2006-06-27T04:51:00.000-07:00

Good point:

"We are born, and we're given a certificate to prove we exist. When we graduate, when we get married, when we buy a house or a car--there is a piece of paper that legally confirms these things. When we go to the grocery store and buy our lettuce and tomatoes and beef, we get a receipt that states what we purchased and how much it cost. Yet when we perform the most important duty as citizens--when we cast our votes--we do not have any way of knowing if our vote was recorded correctly or if it will be counted...ladies and gentlemen, I submit that our vote is more important than our lettuce and tomatoes."

--Ion Sancho (the Florida elections supervisor who helped expose Diebold & DRE voting machine flaws)

2006-06-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

RIP, Harriet.

2006-06-22T04:11:00.000-07:00

The party of "family values" continues to amaze and impress me.

including the one in the ad

Gay marriage will lead to legalized pedophilia. Reproductive health care is the root of all sexual immorality. Godless liberals want to turn your children gay. Vote Republican.

2006-06-21T04:35:00.000-07:00

Read the baby powder scented Final Solution of our enemies from beyond, otherwise known as:

2006-06-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

File this one under, "Zomg, I Luv Teh Internets."

So today I was wandering about an internet news forum that I frequent (wait, it gets even more nerdy), and I started kvetching about my recent neuro qualifying exam. One of my fellow forum-goers tried to cheer me up by reminding me of the joys of science. The following discussion ensued:

"Pfft! While the

nodes de Ranvier

are indeed cool, astrocytes rule supreme."

"You dare knock the synaptic transmission modulators and their electrically-coupled syncytium? Philistine! Saltatory conduction is so base - neurotransmission is where it's at."

"Some of us are just about interaction, while you are nothing but a fan of self-release."

"And yet you remain in a refractory frigid state not due to someone else's premature gamma-aminobutyric acid burst, but by your own impotence."

"It's not so much that you're fat, it's that you have layer upon layer of concentric lipid-bilayer deposits wound around your projections, the removal of which you see as a fate worse than apoptosis."

"Unmyelinated is just an ugly word bitter glial-dependants such as yourself use for those whose potentials last longer and are slower to climax."

2006-06-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

Wow. I mean...wow.

Hat tip to Daddio.

2006-06-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

A fun story and picture from the BBC today, headlined "Tabby cat terror for black bear." The resolution isn't great, but this picture shows Jack the cat (the orange blob at the foot of the tree) defending his property against an intruding black bear (the dark blob clinging to the tree top). The bear eventually came down from the tree, only to be chased up another tree by the infuriated tabby.

I submit this as Exhibit 1 in my case for why the word "pussy" should most certainly not be used to refer to someone who is weak or cowardly.

2006-06-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

Well, that settles that debate.

2006-06-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

Tip-o-the-hat to Brian, who pointed me toward the Knox College commencement address that Stephen Colbert delivered on Saturday. It's good enough to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with John Stewart's 2004 commencement address at William and Mary (which still has a standing link on the right side of this page).

PS: My qualifying exam is on Wednesday. If you've got a pipeline to any particular diety who might be bribed into pulling some cosmic strings on my behalf, now would be a good time to sacrifice those chickens you've been saving up.

2006-06-01T03:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Mark Of The Beast Day!

Contrary to what some might tell you, 06/06/06 is not nearly as Satanic a day as 06/01/06. 666 only holds a special place in our superstitious hearts because of a mistranslation. The real Beastly number is 616.

And yes, I used WorldNetDaily for that last link on purpose, because of the bit at the very end.

Indeed, there are an unlimited number of "interpretations" of the Bible. And if your "interpretation" just so happens to be disproved by factual evidence, well, no big deal, because the truthiness of a belief is determined by how many people will go along with it.

Argumentum ad populum FTW!

2006-05-22T05:27:00.000-07:00

I love useless trivia. I'm that kid who knew the average speed at which Heinz ketchup moves down a 45% incline at room temperature. No surprise, then, that I can be endlessly entertained by the new Google Trends feature. This nifty new engine allows a user to find out which city or area is Googling a particular term the most.

For instance, the people of Providence are searching for "donut" the most, but they're not even in the top ten for "doughnut." The good people of Minneapolis are very concerned about "gas prices," but they are also among the top searchers for both "art" and "science." Meriden, CT, prefers to search for "oral sex." Most searches for "blog" come out of Lima, Peru.

You can also compare the search frequency for multiple terms by separating them with a comma, which gets fun when you try trend-searching things like "Red sox, Yankees." Or "god, dog." Folks in Madison, Wisconsin, prefer chocolate ice cream to vanilla by an amazing margin, but in Portland the two flavors are neck-and-neck. "Democrats" are out-googling "Republicans," which makes sense when you confirm that "good" is indeed winning over "evil."

So far, my favorite finding is that Salt Lake City is ranked number one for "orgasm."

2006-05-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

File this one under "Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?"

This morning, I read about how Pat Robertson is forcasting a massive tsunami to punish the decadent American coastal elites.

When I read that last bit, a quote sprang into my head: "We were somewhere around the prayer retreat when the drugs began to take hold."

As it turns out, Brad over at Sadly, No! had exactly the same reaction. Spooky.

Meanwhile, PZ Myers explains that God clearly wants us to kill Pat Robertson.

2006-05-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

Remember, the GOP is the party of fiscal responsibility.

2006-05-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

I must be out of the loop. While I often joke about the antics of idiot homophobes, I was not aware that they actually do claim that Teh Gay causes cancer.

2006-05-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

Over at My Left Wing, there is a graphic diary about one of the most horrific military battles in American history.

2006-05-11T03:54:00.000-07:00

Gotta love The Onion:

2006-05-09T05:23:00.000-07:00

According to USA Today, lesbians' brains respond differently from those of heterosexual women:

Okay, kids, let's play Spot The Bad Science!

First of all, 36 subjects? Color me unimpressed. It's a nice bit of preliminary research, sure, but hardly conclusive with that small a subject pool.

Second, we don't even know that human beings respond to sex pheromones in the first place. It is entirely possible that the differences in processing of these scents has absolutely nothing to do with sex or sexual orientation.

Third, stop making shit up:

In both cases the findings add weight to the idea that homosexuality has a physical basis and is not learned behavior.This makes it sound as though learned behavior does not influence brain activity or individual responses to stimulation. This is part of a popular trend these days, wherein "physical basis" means "genetically determined and fixed by time of birth," and "learned behavior" means "you choose to be a fag." Learn 2 science, noobs.

Watch, I'll show you how easy it is:

link

See how that works?

Look, they scanned the brains of a small group of adults and discovered some differences in how those adults responded to a particular stimulus. That tells you precisely nothing about what led to any differences in how their brains are responding. Sure, it's possible that gay people are born with some gay wiring that changes how they respond to smells. Or maybe people who are attracted to women learn to associate woman-smells with the joyful experience of being intimate with a woman, and thus have a different response to said smells than a gay man or straight woman might have. Or maybe lesbians emit invisible fields of gay radiation that mutate the olfactory receptors of their partners.

I'm delighted to see that research is being done in this area, and especially delighted to see that FEMALE homosexuals are actually getting some bloody notice for a change. I'm all for the scanning of brains and the exploration of physiological processes involved in complex human behaviors. That shit is cool. What I'm not delighted about is the media's chronic inability to report scientific findings accurately.

And just to be very clear, I'm not trying to argue that homosexuality is a choice, or that biological factors aren't involved, or that genetic elements aren't involved, or any of that. I'm just sick of the media completely missing the point whenever they try to report on scientific research. Either do your homework and learn the fundamentals, or get a transfer to the sports page.

2006-05-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

For your reading pleasure, some quality science writing.

2006-05-04T16:53:00.000-07:00

Daddio snapped a picture of this amazing find at Marshal Field's.

Yes, it is indeed a boob vase. And you've got to pronounce it the way it deserves: boooob vaahhz.

The price tag is $640.00, which by my rough estimate works out to about $7 per boob. If that's not a bargain I don't know what is.

2006-05-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm too young to remember Kent State. But I will remember it anyway.

2006-05-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

Things That Make Me Chuckle, #1,356,989:

The New York Times has informed me that it costs the U.S. Mint 1.4 cents to make one penny.

2006-05-02T04:13:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit out of the loop, so I am just now finding out about the wingnuts' answer to the Dia Sin Imigrantes yesterday.

an excellent idea

alien employees the day off to protest necessary immigration reform

Yes, on a day when immigrants are protesting by refusing to work, to sell products, or to buy products, the white man is going to show them who is boss by not eating meat.

I guess their hatred of immigrants is surpassed by their hatred of breaking a nail.

Never fear, wingnuts, because I've got a better idea. I'm calling it, "Steal A Job From A Mexican" Day. How it works is, you clean your own goddam pool. You take out your own garbage. You get a job at a meat packing plant, or a textile factory, or an orchard. You accept a minimum wage paycheck in exchange for hours of thankless manual labor.

See, these are the jobs you claim the brown people are stealing from us, and I think it's high time you brave conservative commandos go steal them back.

2006-05-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who finds it particularly ham-fisted to create Loyalty Day on May 1st?

Oops, my first Loyalty Day and I've already gone and expressed disloyalty to His Imperial Highness, King George. Oh well, maybe next year.

2006-04-30T16:20:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Stephen Colbert.

2006-04-26T04:19:00.000-07:00

Goddam Catholics can't get anything right. (Hat tip to Daddio)

2006-04-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

Recently, a retired Cardinal of the Catholic church voiced his opinion that condoms are a "lesser evil" when used to prevent the spread of AIDS. This week, a top cardinal announced that the Vatican is preparing a document regarding the use of condoms by those who are infected with HIV/AIDS.

The Catholic Church has, thus far, proudly clung to its life-affirming mantra of "punish the sluts with forced childbirth and death-by-STDs." Official statements issued by the Church have encouraged Catholics and missionary groups to teach blatant misinformation regarding condoms and the spread of HIV. I reviewed many of these lies a while back.

Married women are the population at highest risk for HIV infection in many areas of Africa, yet the Church has persisted in telling HIV-postive husbands not to use condoms to protect their wives. Catholic missionaries tell African men that condoms will cause them to become impotent, that condoms will cause them to contract STDs, that condoms do not protect against HIV, that condoms cause birth defects, and any other lie they feel necessary to prevent the use of condoms.

(In America, if a non-religious organization committed this kind of dangerous fraud, we would call it negligent homicide at the very least. Given the number of victims and the premeditation involved, it is more likely that the perpetrator would be charged with multiple counts of manslaughter.)

It is certainly too much to hope that Pope Benedict XVI will reverse the Church's anti-human stance on contraception, but there is a faint glimmer of hope that he will at least condescend to allow married, monogamous couples to use condoms for protection against spreading AIDS from an already-infected spouse to a non-infected spouse.

I'm not holding my breath.

On a related note, the CA State Supreme Court is addressing a case that asks, "Should an HIV-positive individual be legally required to divulge their status to their sexual partner(s)?" It is already a felony in California to knowingly infect another party with HIV/AIDS.

2006-04-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?